The Journey to Joy – and Hope

•August 12, 2014 • 7 Comments

A Special message Dedicated to those who are going through Anxiety, Panic and Depression – and feel alone and misunderstood.

Please … do not be afraid.
We all have phases we go through in Life. It is not always possible to be Emotionally, Physically, Mentally and Spiritually Balanced and Primed all the time ..and its okay not to be okay …if that is what one is going through for some reason or the other.
I think it’s not a sign of weakness, but a measure of strength and endurance to cope with all this , and try to come out of it … no matter how difficult it is … and I admire those, who give strength and support and stand by you in such times, rather than criticize and put you down for being weak and “Very” sensitive.
Life does not always have to be Perfect to be wonderful … And with Faith in God and ourselves, Love and positivity around us.. I think we can get through the difficult times.
We all need Love, Support and People who Lift us up.
And NO. It is NOT your fault. You did not attract anything to yourself.
We might have made choices which may have not turned out well, but always remember – All mistakes are Lessons in Disguise.
Have Faith in yourself. Believe in yourself. Love yourself.
Try and Let go of all anger, fear and hurt – and the Past.
Today is another Day. And you are going to get through this.
Even if it is step by step .. you will get through this.
Sometimes it is in the darkness when we learn to embrace our own Light . And only when we hit rock bottom, when we realize that the only way is up.
Your Life is waiting. You have a choice to Make it beautiful.
Your future depends on the beautiful, happy, Positive and Loving choices you make TODAY – starting right now.
Even if it is in the Little things around you

– Saying enough is enough to negativity and toxicity.
– Walking over to the window and taking a deep breath …
– Smiling – and not really caring what anyone thinks.
– Putting some Flowers on your desk.
-Changing your Desktop wall paper to something you like
-Having something you Love for lunch, not what you think you should.
-Hugging a child.
-Taking a little walk in the nature. Looking at the trees, and birds.
– Go hug a Tree. It will be appreciated and will give you tons of Positive energy. Seriously ..
– Reading something uplifting.
-Just looking around you and being grateful to be alive ..to be able
to see, smile, smell the coffee, feel the warmth of the Sunshine …

Lets get together and BAN the Fears and What gets you down – one by one .
You can do it – Have Faith, think positive and Never Give up.
Each day, is a New Beginning – A NEW chance to turn things around.
Everything will be okay. Just never stop believing. <3 :)

~ Kiran Shaikh

The Journey to Joy

The Journey to Joy

Path of Hope ….

•February 7, 2014 • 10 Comments
Sometimes you need to Just let GO.
Guilts and regrets of the Past, worries and anxieties of the future.
The Negative thoughts that overwhelm you at times – and no amount of Positive Thinking seems to help.
Sometimes you just need to STOP. STOP trying so hard to make things happen in a certain way.
You need to Just “BE”
Just Relax. Calm down. Have Faith. Have Hope.
And Just Live in the Moment. Try your best, with what you have,
with what you can do. Even if it means taking baby steps at a time.
Have Faith that everything will be okay.
See, Love, be grateful, Understand, listen, smell, taste, appreciate and try to be Happy.
You’ll find yourself feeling better, lighter and stronger.
Good Things are coming down the Road.
Have faith in that, and don’t stop walking.
YOUR Miracle might be just around the next corner.

Life is a Miracle. And you are a part of it.
Never Stop Believing…..

~ Kiran Shaikh 2014  / Back Towards Light
Image via Google Images

Path To Hope

Path To Hope

Raging Storms of the Quiet Soul …

•August 23, 2013 • 23 Comments

Everytime I decide I will make a commitment and try to write. Really write. I fail.

I am unable to do so, and I disappoint myself.

Sometimes I wonder why?

My friends tell me .. Kiran .. you have this beautiful inspirational Page on Facebook and you inspire so many on a daily basis. Yes, since you have not been well, you have had some amazing friends to help you run it, but the essence of it is you. Its your Love, your thoughts, your little pieces of writing that touch others the most. Why can’t you write about yourself?

Why can’t you write For yourself?

It will help you heal.

I listen to the words. I know they are right. I know in my heart it is what I need to do. So why can’t I?

Why do I go into this numbness every time I try to write about my feelings? What am I afraid of?

Why the intense anxiety pangs and sometimes the tears that tremble on the tips of my eye lashes but never fall?

I am even afraid to cry.

What happened to me? What happened to the Loving, passionate, crazy, joyful girl who would make her friends just roll in fits of giggles?

I remember, even since  I was very young I wanted to write. I needed it. It came naturally to me as breathing. I would think a million things, but I was always quiet and shy, lost in a world of Books and Dreaming of Faraway. I would rather write than talk. I could listen and observe, and I found myself being THE shoulder cried upon and the one wiping away tears, tucking little secrets whispered by friends and family and comforting anyone in pain. I never really thought twice about it . It was just the way it was.

Life threw me punches I had never expected, and I tried to stand my ground for as long as I could, without ever able to share my pain or what I was going through. The few times I did get the courage to try and share of myself, I was bitten so badly and betrayed to such an extent, I shut off completely.

I analyzed myself over and over. Am I doing something wrong? If life is a mirror image of what’s going inside me, what did I do or think or feel that was so awful? I have my faults – Loads of them, but I can in all honesty say, that I have never, intentionally gone out of my way to hurt someone or inflict pain or unkindness. Was I playing a Victim Role? What was I doing wrong?

I Love too much, I gave too much of myself and I felt too much. I still do. And I don’t regret it. I just regret my weakness and inability to cope with indifference and hostility..

It was too much for too long, and alone and unable to talk to someone and find support, I bottled everything inside till it all imploded and I found myself ill and almost unable to function. Yes. I am pretty ashamed to admit. I fell and broke into little pieces.

I remember hitting Rock Bottom. Maybe a part of me is still there, I’m not sure. I remembered the Darkness, the Pain, the Fear, the Utter loneliness. It was a deep well, I thought I could never climb out of. A part of me stood, looking at the pieces of me all broken. I knew I had to pick them Myself as no one else would. No one. I knew I had to put them together and get up, pull myself together, but some of the pieces were so sharp I was afraid to even touch them, I knew it would hurt so much. And I stood there in that dark, lonely place for a long, long time – My soul weeping with anguish, my heart so over whelmed I could not even find the words to pray.

And All I heard was “Just snap out of it. If you had any faith, this would have never happened to you.”

I heard it all. I saw myself stuck in that rut while the rest of Life moved on. People moved on. And they should. Everyone has their own Lives and their own battles to fight.

When I did find the courage to Face where I was and accept it, I found my self reaching towards Light, towards Hope.

I scrambled and fell. I got up again, and fell over and over. But in that moment, It was as if I heard a beautiful voice whisper:

“You’re not alone. Everything will be okay. “

I woke up one day and looked around to see what a mess my life had become. I felt isolated and Lost.  I found I could not even relate to normality. I could not even do simple things like walk out the door or make my self a cup of tea. I was so ill and weak.

I knew I had to get back into Living. But I just didn’t know how.

I read books, I read any thing positive I could find over the internet and I found myself comforted by beautiful words and images.

One night, I felt again – That deep desolation. I felt I would not see the Morning, such was the sense of fading away unnoticed into nothingness. I don’t know how, or why?

I logged onto Facebook and Created a page. I had that vision of myself in that deep darkness reaching towards light and warmth, and the name “Back Towards light” flashed into my mind. I just started writing down quotations I loved, words from my own heart and sharing them with pictures.

I remember I never requested anyone to “Like” the Page, except, 10 friends on my list. I just kept on sharing, driven and focused on nothing but the words and beautiful photos in front of me, keeping the fear and pain at bay. I honestly don’t know HOW or WHY, people started coming and liking the Page.

In a few hours  “Back Towards Light” had over 500 likes.

I remember posting something about Not giving up and holding on, and a woman named Lisa, commented on it and wrote  ” Thank you for writing what you did. I was on the edge and about to take my own Life. I have thrown the pills away, and I have changed my mind.  I am not giving up. I will get up and hope things will get better. You have literally saved my life and stopped me from making a huge mistake.”

I remember sitting there, and looking at those words. I remember looking out the window and seeing the sun shine bright, peeking through the layers of clouds. I remember – Out of no where, a beautiful white feather float in and rest in my lap.

And I remember the tears. The storm that broke inside my Soul and the cries I had to stifle inside my pillow, as  I was so afraid of any one finding out I was crying.

I just knew something had just shifted inside me. Something had changed. I could not yet, understand it, nor put it into words, even to this day. I just knew I was going to be okay one day, and no matter what, I will not give up on myself. I will learn to Love and accept myself. I will learn to heal.

And I will help others to Heal along my journey.

The past few years, took a lot away from me, including my health, my confidence, a normal life, friends, people I had thought Loved me and would stand by me through thick and thin.

But it also opened my eyes, and made me see things in an entirely different way. I found out the meaning of unconditional friendship and Love given to me by beautiful women I befriended through my Page, and who to this day, are a part of my Journey of healing, and are truly my Angels without Wings.

I learned Lessons that made me make different choices I would never have thought about making otherwise.

I learned that it was okay to be different.

I realized that my Past and my Pain did not Define me.

I learned that I don’t ever need anyone else to validate my self worth or true self.

I learned that there is no greater joy in the world, than the bliss of Loving and giving to others.

And I learned to Forgive, and try and move on – Step by step. One day at a time.

I am still learning to Heal, Forgive, and move on – and be stronger,  and a better me – One day at a time.

Sometimes, It still hurts. Sometimes the Memories rush in. Sometimes the Pain and fear creep up when I least expect them to.

But I refuse to run from anything anymore. Never again.

The Storms have subsided, though they still lash out at me from time to time. I have learned to Love the rain even more than I had as I child. I still fall and stumble. But I realize that what matters is that I pick myself up and keep on walking. And that it is getting easier with every step.

I just realized, that I can write about how I feel without breaking into pieces. And without being afraid of being judged and criticized.

And just because I fell apart, does not mean I am broken.

I’ll be okay. One day. I’ll be okay.

~ Kiran Shaikh

Fell apart, but not Broken.

Fell apart, but not Broken.

The Little Words Unsaid …

•June 18, 2013 • 12 Comments

It has been a while since I have written any thing.

Yes … the little pieces and quotes I share on Facebook are there – I have my sister and a few friends to help out with the page.

But I just can’t seem to write any thing I feel. I think … I try to put the words together … but they melt into nothingness and float away like clouds in the sky. A Stormy Sky. A writers block?  I think not. It goes deeper than that. It is something I need to acknowledge. Some parts of me that need expression, but have been bottled up inside for so long that they are afraid to even breathe lest they are seen, heard or even felt.

Why are there tears in my eyes? I am not weak. I write to uplift and inspire others.

So why am I feeling this numbness? A part of me wants to scream out to the Heavens and apart of me wants to go hide some where :)

I guess I need to face this and bring out the pain. And try and heal it. I hadn’t even realized  it was there…

A motivating piece of writing? Certainly not. More like a rambling of sorts as I can’t think … But I will write again … I will confront it and heal it .. because it is a part of me.

Note to myself :

One word, one step at a time.

And yes, You are Allowed to cry.

~ Kiran

Image / Artist : Vladimir Konovalov 2008

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The Journey of Healing ….

•March 13, 2013 • 11 Comments

 

As long as you know in your heart that you’ve done your best;
It’s all that matters.
People may not understand you.
But remember, it is not their expectations or opinions that define you.
You do the best you can, with what you have and where you are.
Live in your own truth, and even if you make mistakes, it is all right.
The lessons you will Learn will make you stronger, wiser and more resilient.
Use the obstacles as the stepping Stones to reach your Destiny.
Even if it is step by step – it is okay.
Even if some days are harder than others – it’s okay.
Even if sometimes you feel Lost and want to cry your heart out -
Its is perfectly fine.
Let the Storm subside – and let it go with Peace.
Find the spark inside you, and let it shine brighter and you will feel lighter and more Positive.
Never let go of Hope – Never let go of your Integrity, Speak your Truth , stand for what’s right – and RUN from what gives you a bad vibe.
Listen to your instincts.
Never let anyone drain you, put you down or treat you less than you deserve.
Find yourself. Begin to Love yourself and appreciate all that you do have.
Find strength, joy and Miracles in all the little things.
Your Life will begin to change.
And one day – you will be able to look back and understand what the Journey was all about.
So keep going on and keep on Believing.
If you are reading this and you felt this shift – smile.
Because you just took the first and most difficult step.
Acceptance.
The Journey Of your Healing – Heart, mind, Body and Soul;
Has Already Begun.
Rejoice … for you are a Precious Gift.
Life is waiting ♥ :)

~ Kiran Shaikh / Back Towards Light

The Journey of Healing

The Journey of Healing

Instinct Knows …..

•March 11, 2013 • Leave a Comment
The Brain “Thinks”;
The Heart “Feels”
But “Instinct” – KNOWS.

Always, Always Try to listen to your inner voice;
And your instincts.
They are your Power Guides.
And they are literally trying to “Save” you.
Just Believe.
And sometimes, when you will need to “Know”;
You’ll realize that you already “Know” ♥

~ Kiran Shaikh / Back Towards Light

Artist : Elena Google Images

Instinct Knows ...

Instinct Knows …

Loving and Letting Go …

•March 11, 2013 • 4 Comments
There are certain people who aren’t meant to fit into your life no matter how much you want them to.
And the only ones truly worthy of your love are the ones who stand with you through the hard times and laugh with you after the hard times pass. Maybe a happy ending doesn’t include anyone else right now.
Maybe it’s just you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself for something better in the future.
Taking care of your self and nurturing yourself and finding yourself and becoming stronger and learning more about yourself and what you really want in your Life -
A time for self reflection, Loving yourself first, and rebuilding yourself – From inside out.
Maybe the happy ending is simple letting go.
Sometimes good things have to fall apart so that better things can come together.
Step into your own Truth and own it -
Find the Light inside yourself – and let it Shine.
And The right people .. the True People … the people who are meant to be there – will find you. ♥
Loving "YOU"

Loving “YOU”

 
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